[pre-intro post.]

[Do you know how long it takes to get from Lima, Ohio to Camp Fuck You Die, Louisiana by car? Roughly fifteen hours. If you are a dumb jock and a divo, however, it probably takes a lot longer. ... a lot longer. But lo and behold, a clunker of a car comes putting down the highway, making its way towards the outskirts of one (1) infamous zombie camp.

Guess who has control of the music.]